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Write those same words down and there’s a good chance that a previously comprehensible sentence will become confusing as hell. Unfortunately, when you read back your own words it’s tough not to ‘hear’ the emphasis you intended, so unless you’re very careful you can end up with text that reads just fine to you, while leaving other people scratching their heads. An important part of the art of writing, then, is making it completely clear what you mean using text alone. In my opinion, that’s the main trick you should be looking to pull work to turn your first draft into a polished story.To start with, take things a sentence at a time, then move on to looking at how sentences work with each other, and finally to do a paragraph-level analysis. I think the following checklist provides a good starting point for critiquing any unit of writing you’re examining:Can it be clearer?Can it be simpler?Can it be shorter?If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, then it doesn’t immediately. Nope, everyone thought I was the sweet, shy, quiet girl who always did what she was told. I was far from having a clean mind, and I was more of a sex addicted bitch in heat on the inside.I was home alone one day and bored out of my mind, so bored that I couldn't pay attention to my favorite after school cartoons. I tried masterbating but was boring without seeing a good fuck going on infront of me. So I descided to play with my blocks in my mom's room. I poured out the blocks next to her dresser and started building a castel. On the inside, I was so horny that it made me want to pull my little pig tails off. I had to wait until nightfall to watch porn on tv and it was 7-8 hours away. Then I heard something, a buzzing."huh? What's that?" I wondered as I pushed my ear to the dress. I opened it and saw a big pink vibrator. I took it out and turned it off(not knowing what it was). Then I looked through and say a magazine. I flipped throught it and saw nothing but slutty girls with big.
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