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I just let it wither on the vine. A year later she was kissing Jimmy Hoskins, and didn't know I was alive. I'd been regretting it for two decades, and had been looking for another Ruth Ann ever since.I hadn't found one yet, but I had her grocery list. I was sure of that. I was going to find her if it killed me. And I wasn't going to make the same mistake I'd made with Ruth Ann.You may think I'm being too hard on myself. You're probably saying "Shit, man, you were only eight years old. Give yourself a break here!" But I'm telling you. I knew she was the one, eight or not, and I should have listened to my heart.I'm not going to make that mistake again.Wednesday morning, August 22nd [Chris]When we left the cabin I'd used up the ten legal pads on my way to another hit with my readers and was feeling good about life and men. I decided to swing by the post office to pick up my mail and then go by Grandma's. She would be finished with her yoga by the time I got there and I'd take her out. I leaned into her and made her lose her balance causing her to fell back onto the couch. As she still thinks, she is to blame for this I decided to press on for more. Oh mom, I said when she fell back down. I was persistent with my kisses and continued to unbuttoned her blouse. Between kisses, I said Mom; I need this, please, for me. I need you. I could tell she really wanted me to stop, but Mom always had a hard time saying no to me and let me continue. This is so crazy, please stop she whispered. We will regret this…Maybe she will, but I wont. As I was kissing Mom’s shoulders, I started to run my fingertips lightly over the soft silk of her blouse. First along her sides and across her back, then eventually I started to caress her breasts while pinching her long nipples the very ones I masturbated about many a nights. Mom protested when I pinched her point ass nips. I guess I must have crossed the line she drew. me being her son was just too much. James we can’t does this! I know.
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