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Emily stood by Brian with her hand on his shoulder.I took a sip of my wine, “It’s been quite a day. I can’t believe we got caught with our pants down like that.”Smiling and not looking terribly sorry, Emily apologized, “I’m sorry, Sara, it’s all my fault. I did just what you asked me not to do. The last time I got busted like that with my pants down, I was parking with Joey Perkins when I was fifteen.”“It’s not all your fault, Emily. I could have ignored what you were doing and just kept driving. Instead, I kept peeking at you and Brian and got all horny for Robby.”Robby took the ticket out of his shirt pocket and used a magnet to hang it on the fridge door. “We were damn lucky she was an older woman and not some rookie looking to make a big deal out of it.”“Amen to that.” I replied and raised my glass to make a toast to welcome the boys, “I’m so glad to have you two home safe and sound for the summer.” We all raised our drinks, “Cheers.”“This morning was less than an auspicious. After a while, I actually looked forward to going to work. I did a great job of hiding the truth from everyone, but all the sleepless nights on the couch created bags under my eyes. Since there was never any money or food in the house, I started to lose weight at a dangerous rate. People were actually worried about me and how sickly I looked. When the truth came out about my wife leaving me, many people had already guessed at what had been happening all along."For all I know," I said, "You might have some twelve inch dick."Lamar frowned."How did you know?" asked Lamar.I put my hands up in protest."Hey," I said, "It was just a joke." What?" asked Lamar, "Are you looking in my pants while I sleep?"Suddenly, I realized that Lamar was serious."Really?" I asked, "Is it really that big?"Lamar nodded his head."Damn right," said Lamar, "That's why my wife left me." I didn't know that," I said.My friend didn't look to happy about disclosing this to me."She couldn't handle it," said Lamar, "I.
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