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One good thing about living in a big city like London is that there are plenty of opportunities for getting close to lots of people! I wondered at first whether I should try walking round one of the parks or big department stores, where I could bend or lean over quite naturally, but decided in the end that I’d try exposing myself on public transport. As anyone will know who has been on them, London’s trains, buses and tubes are often crowded; not only during the morning and evening rush hours, but also during the day, when the tourists take over. As well as increasing the opportunities of people seeing me, I decided that in fact I’d be much safer in broad daylight, in a crowded space with lots of people. I didn’t want to get dragged into a corner and assaulted by some over-excited voyeur. I also had to decide what to wear, which wasn’t as easy as it sounds. I wanted something that didn’t make me look obviously tarty, but that was capable of adjustment so I could show a little or a. ‘So, Dan, who’d you vote for?’ I queried, trying to steer clear of the lawyer joke miasma. Well, no sooner had I launched my innocent obligatory conversational opening than did our resident angry (relatively) young man go ballistic. His eyes bulged and his face reddened as he snapped his scowling visage to face me. ‘Are you insinuating that there is something humorous about my political views?’ he growled, menacingly. Really. Menacingly. ‘Why, of course not!’ I slowly replied, recalling his views on gun control and eyeing the exits. ‘Well,’ he said, turning a mistrusting eye to me and covering the documents on his desk with his hands, ‘Okay.’ Suddenly, he rose to his feet and assumed a posture often used by dead politicians posing for paintings and statues, his chest out, one hand poised at his midriff, the other behind his back. A look of stern contemplation and wise beneficence crossed his visage. ‘I voted my conscience, DC. I voted for the party of principle. I voted for the.
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