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.” replied The Terrorist, warily.Tony’s posture slackened. He sipped his coffee and muttered, “Dreams, hmmm,” and fell silent, scratching his head, glancing around the room furtively. A few flakes of dandruff fell softly from his scalp, like tiny snowflakes.“Did you have any disturbing dreams last night?” I asked, covering my mouth while I chewed on an apple slice.“Well, actually, I did,” he said, speaking in a low, scratchy voice, “I had a wacky, wild one ... I was in the Cultural Revolution and was wearing a dunce cap and my students had used blinking Christmas lights to tie me to the podium in the front of the classroom. They were dancing circles around me, were throwing fruit and stationery at me, yelling stuff like ‘rightist’ and ‘foreign trash,’ and then I woke in a cold sweat, but was fuh-reezing in my apartment. My throat’s been killing me, too, the whole morning.“Dammit, I’m thinking these nutty dreams are like a virus up in here, now maybe I’m catching it. Or not. I did. ” I said, “How do y’all treat it right, Uncle Abe?”He said, “Well, before you go puttin’ yer pecker inside a lady’s pussy like that, she likes y’all to kinda fondle it a little, you know, real gentle like. That kinda gets her in the mood for you to poke yer pecker in there and start sawin’ on it.” He paused, like he was makin’ sure I was payin’ attention, and he leaned in a little and said, “But the best way to treat a lady’s pussy right is to get up close and personal with it, give it a little kissin’, and bit o’ lickin’.” “Lickin’?” I said, “How can y’all go lickin’ down there where she pees?”Uncle Abe said, “That’s the strangeness of it boy. I know it don’t sound right putting your tongue down there, but a lady’s pussy is the sweetest thing y’all are ever gonna taste, and once you smelt one, you ain’t never gonna be the same again.” I figured for moment Uncle Abe was only joshin’ about lickin’ down there on a lady’s special place, but he said, “I ain’t jokin’, Wendell. You just.
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