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"From the look on my mom's face I could tell right there and then sheknew something funny was going. "Richard, why did this Sam want to talkto Helen about your patient?" Mildred asked. "You're the doctor." Please sit down, mom," I heard Richard say as I headed towards thephone. "There is something we need to tell you and I want to wait untilHelen gets back."I was back five minutes later."Mom remember last year, when Helen and I were having a lot problemswith our marriage?" I asked."Why did you call Richard, Helen?" Mildred asked. Then she said, "Youare Helen." That is the point. I am not Helen," I told her. "I am Richard." WHAT????????" Mildred screamed. Still in a loud voice she ask, "WHATare you talking about?" Mom, let me explain, and please don't interrupt me until I am done," Itold her."I want to hear why you think you are my son Richard," was her reply."Eighteen months ago, we were one very small step away from divorce," Istarted. "Our marriage counselor said we had two options. I felt discomfited, but not really put out. "Right," the ward sister said, soaping the shaving brush. "Now I'm going to shave off the stubble on your testes and pubis." It was a lovely experience to have Inge soap me, and then begin careful scraping with the cut-throat razor. Nevertheless I was rather fearful of this instrument and so maintained a respectful silence. "Pubic hair is unhygienic," the ward sister told my step-mother. "You should shave him down there regularly." At this all three of us broke out into uproarious laughter causing Inge to put her forefinger to her lips and point towards the door. After about five minutes Inge wiped my testes and pubis dry with the towel and stood back to admire her handiwork. "Not bad if I say so myself. During the war I did this for soldiers hundreds of times." With a look at Adalind went on, "Now this last bit can be tricky and so I'd like you to hold his penis upright and stiff while I shave off the hair around the base." Glancing at me.
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