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Things began normally enough. I met my wife Victoria (nicknamed “V”) halfway through college, and we seemed to hit it off great. We were inseparable the final two years of school. While we occasionally indulged in sex, it wasn’t something our lives together really revolved around. While I did enjoy sex, V seemed to have a take it or leave it approach. Perhaps V didn’t really see much point in it since I was extremely under-endowed (my equipment looked like someone had swapped a man’s junk with that of an eight year old), and the rest of my body pretty much matched my sexual equipment, as I was small, weakly muscled, underweight and almost hairless. As far as I knew, I had never brought V to the point of orgasm, but despite the limited sex, we loved each other, and knew we were destined to spend our lives together.After graduation, we went to Las Vegas, tied the knot, and spent a week on our honeymoon. We then moved to a medium sized northwestern city. I took a job at a subsidiary of. I was eating for two so I devoured most of it, but I did keep my senses about me since I didn't want to get fat.The taxi driver comments, "Wow, I could get use to eating like this."I smile and respond, "Mabel loves to cook and is excellent at her job."Mabel comes over, clears our plates and says, "You two were hungry. Liz, I've never seen you eat that much food."I smile and answer, "I guess you might be the only one that doesn't know - I'm eating for two."Mabel grins and says, "You're wrong about that, Gretchen told everyone the good news. But where's Bernie so I can congratulate him?"I frown at Mabel and complain, "Men! What is it about them that they think they own you?"Mabel's face displays shock while she continues, "Don't tell me, you two had a little lover's spat."I correct, "Spat hell! Bernie gave me an ultimatum so I gave him one right back and backed mine up with actions!"The taxi driver appears to be uncomfortable as hell and interrupts, "Ms. Mabel is it? I wanted to say.
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