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" Mother, don't be silly. There's no harm done. Diana was happy to have a baby, Beatrice was desperate for one, Gillian's mother wanted one, La ... ot's of women do," Ned recovered quickly to a rather lame finish.But not quick enough, his mother looked at him thoughtfully."You weren't going to say 'lots', were you? What were you going to s..." there was the sudden light of dawning in her eyes. "Ah! That perfume on Saturday, I knew that I recognised it. That was Lady Eleanor's perfume wasn't it? That's why she danced with you, wasn't it? What have I given birth to? Christ Almighty, I ought to charge stud fees for you."Ned caught hold of her and kissed her."You wouldn't have to pay, mother," he said with a broad grin."No, but I don't want a baby," she said."You like the first part of making them though, don't you?"Ned pushed her back against the table, manoeuvring himself between her knees and kissed her more deeply. She pushed him away."Get off you randy little toad, someone might come. The hiss of steam obscured much of itbut Bob's occasional shrieks of delight sent a clear message. It didn'tend for over an hour. When the three of them emerged, the two brutish menlooked exhausted but satisfied. Bob was chirpy and, to all appearances,ready for two more partners. He would be always be remembered for thisstartling incident.***There were several more changes that took place when Blandings Landing wastransformed, at least for some of its residents, into Sissytown. Each ofthe males who were affected experienced some variety of poetic justice.Chunky Ralph Snelt, the obnoxious reporter who had come as close topossible to slandering many of his neighbors, without actually doing it,became a top story himself. He placed an ad in the Personals section,announcing himself as 'plump and ready to play' seeking 'chubby chasers toenjoy all sorts of games with me'. Sid Mathers, an exemplary husband tooutward appearances but a domineering bastard in the privacy of the homehe.
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