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That and the fact that my parents are rushing me to settle down when I don’t really want to. They want grandbabies and I don’t feel like delivering. Come on ladies, I know that everyone thinks that we’re always hot and horny, ready to pop kids out the oven after marrying our Prince Charming, but this chick isn’t ready for all that—and I probably never will be…again, I don’t know. So, in order to appease my parents, I go on these random blind dates that they arrange for me. Actually, sometimes they find the guy or the guy finds me, anyway you look at it, it keeps them happy. And happy parents make Ana happy as well. Thus, here I am on a Friday night after a long day of work getting ready to meet some man that I probably won’t get along with. I mean, I don’t go out with a closed mind and preconceived notions, I actually give these guys a chance, but they all seem to be missing some sort of umph. Ladies, you know what I mean. If there is no umph, we just don’t feel it. I hop out of the. "I got this off your website an hour ago. THIS is what I want. Like THAT one!" I pointed to a similar model. "Except silver." Uh, yessir. Let me check with my manager." Check with who you need to. I want THIS car."Kim was giggling when he walked off. "You've got him off balance," she said.He came back. "Yessir. This car's on the back lot. We're bringing it around." In a few minutes and a donut apiece later, the proper car appeared. Smarmy salesman tried to get back on track. "Sir, you'll want a test drive?" Nope. It's just an SUV. Steering wheel. Pedals. Automatic transmission. It's not the space shuttle. I don't need to drive it."So he missed his test drive, replete with 'New car smell'. Now he was eying my pickup truck and thinking he'd hit the lottery. "And you're wanting to use that truck as a trade-in?"I'm thinking, "Bud, if I trade THAT truck on this little SUV, you'll be writing ME a check." So I told him, "Nope. Cash down. Fifty percent. So tell me what your number is."And so.
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