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"You want food, Liam?" Poached egg. Did you buy salmon?" I forgot. I have bacon..." Ugh! It's the good stuff at least?" It's just standard back bacon," I respond, glancing at Selena who's watching me expectantly from the counter. "Scrambled egg okay Selena?"I stick the coffee machine on whilst I cook then pass her drink over with milk in it, just the way she enjoys it."Thank you, Matt," she beams."You are very welcome, my dear. Your food is just coming up."Liam coughs and rustles his newspaper, but I ignore him as I finish the breakfast then dish it up. After placing Liam's down first, I give Selena hers with a flourish and sit between them."Where's my coffee?" Liam asks."Have you finished your other one?" Yes, I thought you'd ask me if I'd like one when you made Selena's." Sorry, I assumed you were good because you didn't speak up. The coffee is hot, why don't you make yourself some?" So you'll be nice to Selena but not to me?!" he yells.I put down my fork."Why are you like this. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. No, no, he then said, make that a Bud Light: and he had one. And God drank the beer and it was good.And the Lord God grimaced and an enchanted gust of wind blew forth from him. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And.
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