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"First. You wear a condom at all times. Even for oral sex." Ok.", I accepted, just a little disappointed."Second. When I say stop, it's stop, and you will drop whatever you are doing and walk out of the room." Ok." Third, I want a double penetration at some point, so no getting shy about balls touching and stuff like that" Amazingly, she wasn't blushing anymore."Ok, ok, anything else?" No, but more rules may come up at any moment. I'll pass by your cubicle in a couple of hours and we'll go home a little earlier."Without saying anything else she stood up and left the table, without even finishing my coffee. I watched her hot ass walk slowly off the shop. The dude on the other table just gave me a funny look and turned around. I drank my tea, waiting for my raging erection to disappear. A few minutes later I went back to the office. I took a quick detour to buy a condom box.That was the longest wait of my life. It wasn't helped by the constant AIM messages she sent me.LanaLanaLanaLana:. " he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering.
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