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One leg done; she moved to the other side and started the same thing over again. I must say that by the time she was done, I kind of liked the nudging of my package and the vibration of the shaver; I decided she could shave me any time. The Doc came in, checked one more time and as the nurse pushed the last bit of “Happy Meds” it was the last thing I remembered. Evidently things went well, and I slowly started coming to in the ICU. Beep, beep, beep the machines went while I cleaned the cob webs out of my mind. I felt like the top of my head was trying to explode. A guy came in my room, checked me out, took my vitals and helped me put a pair of sweat pants on that I brought with me. He updated the chart and left the room. My wife asked me how I was and I said ok and to please pass the bottle over so I can empty out my bladder. I tried to fill the jug lying down, but that was not going to happen. “Help me up” I asked my wife. She gave me that look like oh boy this is going to be a long. Very, very, very hot.When they finished with our feet, they gave us a pair of flip-flops and sat us at separate manicure stations. This time I paid close attention as the woman massaged, cleaned, moisturized, trimmed and filed my fingernails. When she reached for the polish, I pulled my hand firmly away. "No." After a brief hesitation, she put the polish down and picked up another tool. Warily, I gave her my hand back and she buffed my nails 'til they shined. It didn't look like polish, but my hands did looked Polished. Now I knew what to give Peter on his next birthday; he'd love that kinda shit.I sat at the nail drying station and only waited a couple of minutes — flipping through an old issue of Cosmo — before Ame joined me. Her nails were a delicate, pale peach. "Pretty." I thought so. Ngoc is very talented. Hands?"I showed her my hands and she got her approval."Are you actually reading that?" No," I laughed, "I'm a pain slut not a sissy." You won't be spending much time with me.
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