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Personally, I just want orgasms. I like those. A lot.Which is why hope dies last.“The dishes and the bathroom,” I say, and Stacy gives an excited little squeak and a double high five to seal the deal.“Fuck yes, girl! You will not regret it. This one is real special.”I have a feeling I will regret it, but at least I won’t have to do the dishes or clean the bathroom for the next four months, so I’ve got that going for me.*The thing I am holding in my hand a couple of days later, courtesy of bmazon, defies description. It’s a little bit 90s lava lamp, a little bit stalagmite, a little bit molybdomancy, and a little bit obscure deep-sea creature. It has a lovely, deep-blue color with a shimmer underneath, no detectable scent or taste (yes, I licked it. If something doesn’t feel good in your mouth, it won’t feel good in your vag), and it’s quite heavy. And is it just my imagination or is it changing shapes in tiny increments? So slowly that your eyes cannot track the movement? I swear I. I left a note on the bathroom mirror. I know, and I would like to talk. Love, TThe trip home when my shift ended seemed to move like cold honey. I had no idea what I was going to find, but my curiosity wanted an answer right this instant. Even minor delays caused excessive irritation. Finally, I pushed open the front door, and there she was; with the jet black, Betty Page wig, tight skirt, the off the shoulder, low cut blouse, and the sleazy high-heels sitting with a glass of red wine in front of her folded hands. She was even more erotic in person. Sitting in front of the wine was the dog dildo, and it was more impressive in person, too.There was also a glass of wine on my side of the table, so I sat down. “Welcome home.” Her voice sounded more like the woman I knew. “I have a million questions.”Considering how emotionally charged the moment was, our voices were calm and subdued.“I’m sure you do.”“I did hear right? You did call my name. I was the person you were fantasizing.
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