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As the night wore on the usual pleasantries and drinks were had. The bells chimed midnight and her father and I shook hands, the customary relative reaction took place, but when I went to kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek briefly, she briefly slyed down a hand to my crotch given my balls a tight squeeze.My father-in-law and wife both had to start work at 7 the next morning so retired early not too drunk, leaving myself and my mother-in-law alone.We sat on the sofa watching some daft movie, enjoying a few more drinks as you do at New Year. Being at least a little bit tipsy, she asked "do you ever watch porn?". To which I replied "Yes, sometimes". She then switched on a porn channel, where a woman of her size (a ssbbw) was being gang banged. She looked me in the eyes and said "I wish I could just have one guy do that to me, I haven't had it in ten years". "Would you satisfy me?", I said "but am married to your daughter".Caroline said "But, she doesn't need to know it could be our. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay off the ice and warn all your friends, you could save a life and don’t forget what it did to the poor old Titanic!Two old guys were sitting in the park talking when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older”. “What do you mean?” asked the second guy. “Well” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife - she’s healthier than ever!”.
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