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I knew the man would find out that I was not accepting his help. I would almost for sure be all but assaulted by the lot of them. They so wanted to assuage their guilt. And, I so wanted to not let them. Was I still bitter after all this time? Damn straight I was. Oh, yeah!Doctor Metcalf hadn’t really said how low my CD4 level was, but she had essentially said that I had a few months to a year. I had to figure that the numbers were pretty bad.Oddly, I still felt pretty good, maybe a trifle weak, but okay otherwise. I’d be able to work for a while at any rate. I knew I could get basic care at County General. Then, when things got real bad, I could get myself a bed at the hospice there and just wait to die. Yes, that was the ticket. I wondered how many people would attend my cremation. Probably a pretty good crowd I guessed. God how I would like to be alive to see that, especially Victoria, my long lost love. But, to be cremated, I would have to be dead and unable to see anything; well,. Lucia Sonora, may I have the extreme honor of this dance with you?"I went blank for a moment but felt Steven push me a little while Bob took my hand and swept me away into the dance.He immediately snuggled me into him and I felt his calmness cover me. He told me, "Lady Lucia, you really are the desert sun shining on us. Your radiance inspires each man here to honorable deeds he never thought he could ever approach, and every lady here hopes they will find your courage and prays one day they too, will find a love such as yours."I tried not to cry but failed; the tears trickled down and wet his jacket. "I'm sorry, Bob. I'll get you dried out."He laughed, "Not to worry, my Lady. Steven told me your tears of joy are sweet as honey drops and stain a person's soul forever with the memory of your courage and beauty."He tilted my head up and kissed my mouth gently, yet with great warmth, encouragement and respect. I saw and felt the spotlights hit us as he slowly spun me around. He must have.
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