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After that it was only a step-by-step evolution from caressing her lingerie and masturbating, to wearing her lingerie and masturbating for the simple reason of it being women's lingerie.It also didn't take me long to figure out, that Janice and I were more or less the same sizes. I was in most things still smaller than her, but most of her clothes fit. With that knowledge, each and every babysitting night alone at their house, became a sexual adventure, into the pleasures of feminine lingerie.It had to come then as it did, a date with fate so powerful that it almost destroyed me.For some time I was no longer satisfied with only wearing a panty, a bra, a girdle, a slip or a nightgown and jerking off. I wanted to go all the way. I wanted to fully dress as a woman.Once born, this idea transcended desire and lust. This idea would not leave me, or let me forget, not in my waking moments, not in my dreams. It governed my thoughts, and even in part, my actions day and night.After they left. ”“Damn,” I said. “You were twelve?”“It was getting dark and people were leaving. I hadwalked over, just a few blocks, so I hung aroundtalking to people and stuff. Then this boy I didn’tknow came up and put his arm around my shoulders.” Sheblinked at me. “I didn’t even know him, and I think hewas older.” She sniffed. “He kissed me and I let him.”I kept my eyes on the road but I knew she was crying.“And he and another guy, a bigger boy, older too,maybe fifteen or something, they led me back to thisshelter and took away my shirt and started pushing meback and forth between them, pawing at me and pinchingand stuff, pulling the straps off my shoulders. Afterthat, I kind of lost track, but then I remember seeingmy new bathing suit hanging from the diving board andthis boy had his hands under my knees and wasspreading my legs and smiling at me, pushing my legsback and open.”“Damn,” I said.
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