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Before my sister and I began to become intimate, I always wished I could wear something like that and as look hot as Jackie. Only much later would I have the confidence to do so, but at the time, my older sister was my idol in many ways, the way she looked so great in beautiful clothing but one small aspect of my early affection for her.She would have been fifteen. When it had really happened, I was thirteen, just a few months into puberty. While I was awash in confusion about my body and boys, my sister was an eager teen ready to take her relationship with Ira further.I watched as she stared at the back of his head for a while. The way her legs rocked on the bed showed her excitement, her eagerness, her nerves. How Ira could have ignored my beautiful sister in that moment, staring at a baseball game on his television, I couldn't understand. I'd never known Ira well, Jackie usually sneaking around to be with him. Our parents forbid her to date anyone, and they would have been. Anyway, I told Pete Id meet him at that little restaurant on Golf road, you know, weve had lunch there a couple of times. Im supposed to meet him there at noon this Friday. Is that the place that has that motel right across the street? Amber asked. Yeah, I said, thats the one with the little motel across the street. I didnt want to talk about it anymore so I asked about something else. We talked just a couple more minutes then said our good-byes. For the rest of the day I kept waffling back and forth. Should I do this, or shouldnt I do this. Hell, I knew I shouldnt do it. It was wrong. Could I live with my own guilt? What if Gary did find out, but how could he? Would he want a divorce? Would I lose everything? Its stupid, senseless, I love Gary more than anything, I love my daughter, my home, why would I risk losing any part of that for a romp in the hay with an old boyfriend? But there was that other part of me, the part that felt young again as I sat with Pete talking that day..
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