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2. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.3. Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says “I think we got this joke wrong”4. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.5. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.6. I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said “Thanks” I said “Don’t mention it”7. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.8. I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.9. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.10. My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange” I said: “no it doesn’t”11. And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster.12. How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb? Is it one or two? One ... or two?13. What. His tongue is deep inside my cunt. Eating me like a kitten enjoying his milk.“Keep eating my pussy. Mistress needs to come again.”Slave is tongue fucking my pussy and I’m grinding my pussy all along his face.“Fuck, I'm coming!"I let out a gush of my cunt juices and my slave laps it all up.“I'll get on top of you and suck your cock. Do not come!”I have my ass and pussy over his face and he continues to eat me. I stroke his cock from his base to his head and slowly wrap my lips over his cock and take his six inch cock down my throat. I’m sucking and slurping on his cock.“Oh Mistress may I please come? I’m so hard for you. Please may I?”“No you may not.”I get up and go to my closet and get my top crop. I stand at the bed and I lightly hit his cock with it.“Does my bad boy like this?”"I pull at his nipple clamps."“Anything you do I like Mistress.”“If I may ask, I'd love a golden shower. Will you please urinate on me?"“Not yet. You know I'll fuck you first and after that, I'll give you a.
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