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"How often do you touch yourself?" I couldn't believe she had just said it. "Uh...I...I..." I stuttered for a minute. "I don't really think that's your business." "It's not a big deal. Here, I'll go first. I masturbate all the time, at least once each day, unless I had really amazing sex the night before. Then sometimes I can skip a day. Does that make you more comfortable? Come on, now you go." That was really more than I needed to know about her, but it had gotten my attention. I did feel better about sharing now and a part of me wanted to hear a little more about her sex life. "I...I don't know, maybe once or twice a week?" "Are you kidding? That's it?" "There's nothing wrong with not masturbating." I tried to defend my frequency to her. "And there's nothing wrong with masturbating. You gotta let loose a little bit. What kind of toys do you have? Let me see what you're working with here." She started lifting my mattress, looking under pillows. "Where do you keep them?" "Them?. “If you don’t mind, can I ask what you are doing?” the old man was obviously puzzled by my mother’s reaction.“It’s a competition sir. We both have to keep our hands on this flagpole for ten minutes,” Cherry answered him politely.“That’s incredibly bizarre. May I ask if you two are sisters? You look quite similar in the face,” he observed politely.Taffy scoffed as if it was an insult. My mother corrected her and informed her that Taffy was her daughter.“I am Cherry, and this is my daughter Taffy, Sir. I’d offer to shake your hand, but I can’t remove them. I guess I’ll shake something else for you,” my mother wiggled her butt playfully.“Oh my!” the old man beamed with gratitude when my mother engaged him that way. He looked lonely and bored.“They just made his day,” my Dad whispered to me. “The goal isn’t to hurt people or freak them out by shocking them. If your mother can make somebody happy, she does. She has to stand at the flagpole anyway. It wasn’t always that way with her, and it.
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