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So we were essentially alone.Alone?Hmm.Derek and I always sat together in a movie theater, without theobligatory empty seat guys like to put between them to appease theheterosexual gods. That evening, it seemed there would be no suchappeasement from us.Twenty minutes into the movie, Derek leaned over to me and whispered,"Did you wear your stockings and garter belt tonight?"I shuddered. Was it fear? Lust? Or a heady brew of both?I managed to croak out a "yes," then waited for Derek's next move.He drew out my anticipation. Thirty seconds. A minute. Then he said,"May I see them, please?"That engendered a huge adrenalin rush of fear/lust. But I answered,"OK."Unsure of how to comply I began to roll my left pant leg up to exposemy calf. That wasn't what Derek was after. And he said so."Show me your thighs, Sweetheart," he whispered.Sweetheart?Thighs?I could have left the movie theater right then with my heterosexualvirtue intact.Funny how that thought never occurred to me.Instead. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says “Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?”Definitely” the golfer replies, and, sure enough, he makes the eagle and wins the match!As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says “I haven’t really been fair with you because you don’t know who I am. I’m Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all”.“Nice to meet you” the golfer replies “I’m Father Gleason”.A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, you name it. Meanwhile, Grandpa is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice “Easy William, we won’t be long ... easy, boy”.Another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say “It’s okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here..
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