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His need was uncontrollable; he had to have her now. Which was precisely how he knew he shouldn’t.Immediately, he pulled away from her, smoothing her sweater down to cover her waist, dragging his hands over his head in frustration. Lizzie sat up, confused, watching him regain his composure while she felt completely shattered.Red held up his hands, palms out, stalling her. “You need to think about this……., before we go any further.”Firelight danced over her skin, creating tempting shadows that played over her face.“What do you mean? What is there to think about? I want this; I can have this with you,” she impelled.“You don’t know what this life will be like. We’re only going to complicate your situation if we do…..this.” Red was exasperated; at her for wanting to pursue something that was clearly such a bad idea, at himself for not wanting to stop her.“I know that I don’t want to do this without you!” she cried desperately. “You have me--”“You know that’s not what I mean!”He sighed,. In fact, I'd often just run up to him when he was reading the paper or watching TV and get on his lap to cuddle."She stopped to collect her thoughts."But that all ended when I was about 11 or 12. Dad had just gotten back from Japan -we were at Edwards, then- and he was bone tired and just plopped down in his chair to wind down before he went to bed. Naturally I was excited he was back and I plopped onto his lap and we cuddled as usual. But when I got up, mom looked at him and went berserk. You know how men get erections when they're really tired? I guess she saw he had one and jumped to the wrong conclusions. I found out much later that she had been abused by an uncle whom she adored." That started a fight that went on for hours. I had no idea what they were yelling about, but I hid in my room and cried my eyes out because I just KNEW something in my life had just changed." From that day on, I wasn't allowed in my dad's lap. He tried to explain it to me, that I was getting too old.
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