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..The previous night my flatmate had come home blind drunk having split up with the love of his life (they'd been dating for a month, it counted as long term in his eyes) and threw himself down on the sofa declaring loudly that men were like cats. When I asked him to justify that comment he stumbled a bit but the gist of it was that in his opinion men were like the cat in the Rudyard Kipling story, "I am the cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me!"He argued that men didn't get attached emotionally, they just screwed around, using women for what they needed before going across the road for lunch, and while this may be true of some men (and women, harsh but true) I did, and still do, maintain that he is more like a puppy, a Labrador or a Golden Retriever, playful and fun to be with but ultimately in need of a family to take care of him and keep him out of trouble. Imagine that puppy that pulls all the toilet paper round the house in the advert, that's him to a 't'.. “This will also make me the de facto guardian, even if not the legal one. When Ellie turns eighteen, I plan to marry her, but understand that marital status means very little in this house. You’ll keep it all hush-hush about me sleeping with Ellie, all of us will, so none of us land in jail and so that I can teach, which I love to do. Ellie and Stacey are both my sluts, and now so are you. Are we clear about this? Duane and Vince are both benefiting from this deal, so they won’t mind, will ya guys?” I slapped both men on the ass to drive home my point and my dominance.“So ... all of you men will be screwing each of us lady ... and what about other men and women? Other partners? Are they allowed, too?” Aunt Trish inquired, making me throw back my head in laughter.“Only on my terms, Trish. MY terms. I own you, I own Ellie, and I own Stacey, as you can see. Now, in your case, I know that it’s more about what I can give you. However, as you can see, that’s a lot of material comfort, a lot.
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