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“So you like my costume?” she asked.“Of course. You look so amazing, so hot in it!” adding more praise to my first compliment.”“Hot? You think your almost fifty year old mother looks hot?”“Definitely, Mom. You are the definition of a MILF.”“A MILF, hmmm,” she said. “You think your mum is a MILF,” she said mostly to herself.“All the guys at school say so too, Mum.”“Really,” she said.“They even ask for pictures of you. They are always asking if I have any naked pics of you.”Mum almost looked shocked at the thought.“You don’t have any naked pics of me, do you?”Without thinking, I responded, “No, Mum, I wish I did.”“I guess you would want to show them to your friends if you had any,” said Mum.“Absolutely not!” I retorted. “If I had any, I would never share them.”“You don’t want your friends to see naked photos of me?”“Definitely not, Mum. If I had pics like those, I’d keep them for myself.” Oops.“So you want to see your mother naked?”“Oh my gawd, Mum, we can’t be having this. Next he went into the folksy recitation of the deceased's awards and career, and then the Next-of-Kin's brother was scheduled to speak. Father Tom was surprised when the very tough-looking Army soldier with the maroon beret stepped up for that part. Up close, Father Tom could see the soldier was actually redheaded, though his hair was very closely cut. On his shoulder he had a strange sort of banner-patch thing with the inscription "3rd Ranger Bn".The young man held no notes, causing Father Tom some worry for the ceremony. These people were watching Father Tom's showmanship, and he wanted to do a good job for them all, as well as the bereaved."Ladies and gentlemen, soldiers and sailors," the young man began. "I'm sorry as hell to be here today, under these circumstances. Deb, Admiral, Barbara, Gunny, Lenore," he spoke to each of the persons he'd named in turn, though his words had been amplified for the audience. "You know what a fine man we've lost. I knew the Chief for such a short.
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