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All I did was ask them if they could come over and stretch to distract him. I think they like teasing guys with little peeks at what they have problems finding the right leotards to cover, or they do that on purpose.”Coach asshole had wood, so he suggested that I try to do what I saw that guy doing but try not to fall.Oh, okay, dick!In my head, I knew how to do everything every male gymnast winner of every worldwide gymnastic competition did to beat out their competitors on the horizontal bar. I took the most difficult of their routines, munged them together, and then ran through them on the bars, finishing with the twisting flip in the air that the guy messed up. Deciding I needed to mess with asshole a bit more, I moved around the bar to be facing away from where I needed to land on my dismount. I got up some speed, and then when at almost the highest part of my spin around the bars, I let go and did a triple somersault, one-hundred-eighty-degrees twist, and landed straight down on. Too late, I worked the oars frantically in an effort to turn more quickly. When the launch was almost upon me, I drew them into the sides to make as narrow an obstacle as possible. The launch passed me safely, but its bow wave sent my little skiff rocking wildly. I could imagine what the police officers on board were thinking.Dale saw the incident, turned back, and seeing that I was all right, apart from my embarrassment, he said, 'Hoping for a lift with a nice young policeman, were you?' He was more reassuring when we talked of the incident later, saying 'They were probably more worried than you were. The newspaper headline "Police Launch Collides With Rowing Boat" is the last thing they want.'Few of the tourist boats came up to that stretch, some miles upstream from Central London. Dale loved the river and knew lots of local history. Whilst walking the riverside paths he would tell me about how busy the waterway had been fifty years ago, with barges taking coal to power stations.
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