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I found the web site and made a reservation for the “gala New Year’s Eve party.” I would have to wear a suit and tie, drive two hours, and being a single male pay a premium entrance fee, but I thought it might be fun, possibly a chance for a hookup. Anyway, I figured it had to be better than sitting home alone watching the stupid ball descend in Times Square, which I consider to be about as exciting as watching paint dry. So I went. Wearing my best suit, a navy three-button with a subdued pin stripe, blue shirt set off by a newly purchased red and gray striped tie, driving more like three hours in heavy holiday traffic, and paying the extra hundred at the door. The fee seemed like an added insult for not having a date, but was actually the club’s method of discouraging single men. Single women entered free. Although I didn’t go with the intention of hooking up with a guy, as I mingled and chatted it quickly became apparent that the club clientele was extremely homophobic. More like. She has central air in her house, but turns it off at night to let fresh air in through the windows. ‘Ya, it’s a nice night for it’ The night air was calm and dense, we could talk at living-room level and hear each other perfectly across the street. ‘Boy I wish I had a pool to cool off in’ I had central air in my house too, but I wasn’t in my house now was I? ‘Well your welcome to join me for a swim’ I just about dropped my wrench. I almost didn’t know what to say… and I waited abnormally long before I responded. The longer I waited the harder it was for me to close the tool box. Frustrated with my failed attempt to close the box, much less notice the screwdriver sticking out the side preventing it to close, I just let it go and stood up. ‘That would be nice’ I said half standing, half fumbling with things that were now falling on the driveway. Trying to think of something else to say I asked ‘is the water warm?’ and so was my stupid utterance. ‘It’s real nice, about 82c’ Now she.
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