I wasn't interested in "stealing" him from auntie Kathy, I didn't love him anymore that as an uncle, but I was so terribly attracted to uncle Derrick sexually it was driving me crazy.I loved David, and sex with him was unbelievably satisfying, so why I wanted uncle Derrick I couldn't understand. What I did understand was that I wanted and desired to be a total slut for uncle Derrick. I wanted him to use me in any manner his wished for his sexual pleasure. There would be nothing I wouldn't do for him in bed, or any other place if came to sex. Why, I couldn't answer that, but it was something I was obsessed with.Six months later David and I got married, and that night as uncle Derrick danced with me, a dance just before the tossing of the bouquet and David removing my garter, I started to daydream about Derrick. How enjoyable it would be if he and I could sneak into the bathroom or the coatroom and have him fuck me while I was in my wedding dress. I thought how exciting it would be to. “Would he be attractive?”“Yes.”“Would you be attracted to him?”“Yes.”“Would he be sexy?”“Yes.”“So to really decide if someone is sexy, it’s more important how they look naked than how they look with clothes, isn’t it?”“Yes.”“Do you think Mom would be attractive without clothes on?”As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to force them back in. What a stupid question—if she interpreted that the wrong way, she’d wake up for sure. Fortunately for me, she must have been thinking about it clinically, because she agreed almost immediately.“Yes.”I took a deep breath, and decided to have a break. We could work this out next time.Session B29:“Hypothetical—you’re eighteen.”Nod.I’d spent the last few sessions doing sixteen and seventeen. It was more of the same, really—increase her attraction to me, decrease her attraction to all other males. I hoped that hitting each year would be enough—if it didn’t work, I was happy to go back and alter memories every six months.A part of me sensed.
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