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“Ideally.”“What’s in it for me?”“Pardon?”“I’m not gonna just help you out of the forest because I’m nice.”“Why not?”“Because that’s not how the world works, mister! Ugh, you’re impossible!” she said, then started to fly away. “Wait, wait, wait! What do you want?” I called after her. She flew back.“Whaddaya got?” she asked, looking me up and down.“Uh, not much. Just some camping gear. A smart watch. Everything is kinda too big for you, though.”“Got any human seed?”“What? No, I don’t think so.”“You’re a male of the species, yes?”“Well, yeah, but-”“I was told all human males have seeds they used to pollinate the females.”It took a second for me to figure out what the hell she was talking about. “Ooooh… uh, yeah, I have human… seed.”“Splendid! I need some for a potion. Hand it over and I’ll take you home.”“It’s… not that easy.”“Why not?”Oh boy, was I really going to talk the birds and the bees with a fairy? Did they not have sex in their culture? This whole situation was ludicrous. Why. “We’re both adults, here.”“That’s the problem,” he said, and then frowned, as if he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.“It’s not a problem,” she said. “It’s just something that has to be dealt with.”“Like stress,” he said.“Yeah.”“Under the circumstances, I guess it’s okay to say I’m just going to go deal with mine, now,” he said.Suddenly the situation seemed serious, and all thought of laughter was gone.“I guess we both will,” she said.“See you in the morning,” he said, moving towards the door.“See you in the morning,” she agreed.It was nothing like Harold. Nothing. Of course part of that was because she’d never employed Harold with the full knowledge that there was a man, with a real, live penis, twenty-five feet away, who was doing what amounted to the same thing she was doing while she used “him.” Despite the flood of hormones her laughter had produced, she felt like she was made of glass as she lay back on her bed. The batteries were installed and she was about to penetrate herself..
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