They may have allowed the women to wear colors, but men had inherited the penguin look with their white shirts and dark suit pants. I toyed with getting a top hat and tails as a joke, but they were too expensive for a one time laugh.Then a notice appeared on the bulletin board. As part of the casual banking atmosphere that we were trying to promote, associates were encouraged to wear costumes for Halloween. So call it trite, berate me for using an ancient and hoary clich?, but you know damn well what costume I wanted to wear. I tried to ignore it, but that was not going to happen. The day the notice went up, Deb and Susan cornered me at lunch."So are you going to let us see the other Ellie for Halloween?" Susan asked as soon as she sat down."I'm about as real as I get right now." You know what I mean." Yeah. Look Susan, that Ellie has never left the apartment. She's a nice fantasy but she's not real." Are you sure about that, Ellie?" Deb asked. "I don't want to pry into your. How can you be doing that to me? How can you make me feel so good? But you know what? I don't care. How can I be cheap, used, taken advantage of, when I am getting so much out of this?"And I'll tell you something else. When I am serving you, when I am following your orders, even when I am exposing myself to strange women at your command, I feel good about it. Last night, you told me that I couldn't change into what I didn't want to be, and I said that maybe I wasn't who I wanted be. I was saying that for you, but I realize I was telling an absolute truth. I am not sure who I want to be, but I know that I am happier with who I was last night, who I am today, than I have been for a long time. I don't know if what we are doing will satisfy me forever, but I can tell you for damn certain that I have never been more satisfied in my life!"And with that she sat back, looking satisfied indeed, and then, as if remembering, looked down at the table and added "Sir."I reached across the table.
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