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“Much as I’d love to see you again, it’s too expensive, and it’s a lot of travel for just the one night. We’ll be together again in a fortnight.”“It’s a shame, but you’re right. Did you get the letter from Sian okay?”“Yes, thanks, I’ll take it over for Jen and Hamish, and they’ll take it down to the twins next weekend. They sound as if they’re really enjoying Aberdeen!”“They do, don’t they? That reminds me – you know that I said that I’m going to try and keep fit?”“Yeah?”“Well, I went along to the badminton club the other night, really nice people, and I’m going to give that a go. I enjoyed it the times we played it at Cardiff, so hopefully that would be a good way to get some exercise.”My soulmate giggled.“Er, Jon, darling, I want you to think back to that. Now, exactly which part of playing badminton did you most enjoy? Was it pretending not to be watching Sarah and Monica’s boobs bounce around, or was it not getting caught ogling their legs in those tight shorts, or was it just the. He agreed to abide by the local custom.The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."(I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."This one is compliments of kilocyclesExcuse meA man enters a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is.
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