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"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."A hush fell over the crowd.After a while, a hand went up in the back of thebar.A woman timidly spoke up."I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me onthe head with the beer bottle."# 2A small white guy goes into an elevator, when hegetsin he notices a huge black dude standing next tohim.The big black dude looks down upon the smallwhiteguy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inchdick,3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, TurnerBrown"The small white guy faints!!The big black dude picks up the small white guyandbrings him to, slapping his face and shaking himandasks the small white guy."What's wrong?".The small white guy says; "Excuse me but whatdid yousay?".The big black dude looks down and says "7 foottall,350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3poundright ball, my name is Turner Brown."The small white guy says, "Thank God, I thoughtyousaid 'Turn around.'"# 1There was this couple who had been married for50years. They. The only bright spot was that I got my full unrestricted license a few days later. I had a spotless driving record - chiefly because I had been driving so little. But happy I wasn't. Emma was perfect: Perfectly beautiful, perfectly wonderful, perfectly sweet. And perfectly out of bounds.I didn't see Emma much during the summer before my senior year. Mr. Ward, her father, had suddenly expressed an interest in seeing her and as Emma was now in a permanent state of conflict with her mother, she (Emma) agreed to visit him and her brother down south. I found out that the nature of the conflict with Mrs. Ward was in some respect related to me. Emma wanted to date. She was told there was only one person she would be allowed to date this side her 16th birthday and that was me. That didn't exactly help things. Nor the fact that Emma didn't have a good time with her father and brother, to put it mildly. Much later I heard just how bad; in fact they were drunk, abusive and she had feared for.
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