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Susan frequently complained that Jez had been a bit too familiar with her as she put it, and I had to have a quiet word over a pint and tell him to keep his hands off my girlfriend’s bum, although I didn’t mind really.I suppose it’s a North East thing but we spend lots of time in the pub when we see Jez, and although I thought Clare looked stunning Jez was doing all he could to pull the barmaid who had tried to short change me earlier. Apart from sticking his pool cue up Sues short skirt and several smutty comments about parking his bike in Clare’s cleavage or bum crack we had a pleasant, funny inoffensive evening. Well that was until we started to argue on the walk back about why men in general were more intelligent than women were. We laughed at ridiculous arguments trying to prove our points and then Clare had the brainwave of proving it by a trivial pursuit challenge boys against girls.Just before the first throw of the dice Susan was goading us by saying how easy this was going. It wasn't that the handbagwas horrible (in the hands of a woman perhaps), but it was a handbag forGod's sake and carrying it made him feel a complete Nancy-boy. The change to the undercarriage was down to the fact that he was wearinga fairly tight skirt and that meant he had to wear fairly tight panties.He had argued that his own pants would be fine, but Jess pointed out thatthey were too thick and would show - VPL of boxers or 'Y' fronts wasinappropriate. If that wasn't bad enough, she showed him in the mirror what even aflaccid penis looked like under the skirt. From that point on, it wastight panties and 'Willy' was tucked back between his legs - anincredibly weird sensation if one hasn't tried it before, although it DIDmake the front of his skirt look a lot more flattering.He had been accosted by so much to remember, so many things not to do andequally, so many things TO do, none of which were apparent during theparty. The main reason for that was the fact that the heavy velvet.
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