She was obviously uncomfortable with me and didn’t know how she was going to fit in with Ash and me. I walked to her and put my hands on her shoulders.“Young lady. You are pretty much a member of our family already. But tonight, I want you to be my honorary daughter. I will treat you no differently than I do my Ashley. You will be… my Alyssa. How does that sound?”A shy smile crept across her face.“Do I still have to call you Mr. Gussman?”“Mmm, maybe just in front of the other parents. But now, when we are alone, you can call me Jeremy.”“Oh,” she said, dejected. “I thought I was going to be your honorary daughter.”I looked at Ashley, her eyes glassy with emotion. She nodded her head enthusiastically.I pulled Alyssa a little closer to me.“You could call me… Father?” I couldn’t help but tease her. I’m the fun dad, ya know?She shook her head and made a face at me. I tried again.“How about… Dad? No? Hmm… then it has to be Daddy.”She giggled and threw her arms around me. I hugged her. With you unable to explain why what they just did hurt them. You might notice that they might only do this once more before deciding to back of the bed feet first. You didn’t teach them this. They came up with it on their own.Cause and effect are perhaps the earliest lessons an infant learns. They cry. They are quickly picked up, comforted, changed, or fed. Simple when you realize it. Congratulations, you have just been manipulated by a baby not yet three months old.Sometimes it may take years before we as adults realize some of the things our parents did and didn’t do for us were for our own good, even the most painful ones. Often, parents only realize well past the most critical times in their baby’s development their errors. Unfortunately, by that time, the damage is already done and is irreversible in most cases.One of those areas is not allowing a child to explore its world and make its own mistakes. Mistakes cause and effect are a part of the learning process. More than that,.
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