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’ ‘How do you know that?’ ‘Well, I GUESS she was blonde. Honor Blackman played the role of my mother in the James Bond movie, Goldfinger. Blackman was blonde in the movie, so I assume my mother was.’ ‘And your father?’ ‘Was James Bond, of course. They met when James was fighting the REAL Aurik Goldfinger, just like in the movie. The mere sight of that debonair British spy must have gotten my mother’s pussy awfully horny, because just like the Pussy Galore character in the movie, my mother immediately and literally took a roll in the hay with Bond. Nine months later, I popped out, but of course, by then Bond had moved on to other spying adventures and other women. My mother lacked the finances to raise me all by herself, and abandoned me when I was an infant. I only remember a whole series of orphanages and foster homes. I never knew whether to use my mother’s last name, Galore, my father’s–Bond–or any of the half-billion foster-parent names I took over the years. And I never KNEW what. She didn't have the upper body strength to hack or bludgeon anyway, and John put a very sharp point on the narrow blade which was rather anemic and light to begin with. He used a dense wood singlestick, and tried to bash, hack, and bludgeon her with it, and let her find her style of deflecting his swings and then stabbing the point at him. It didn't work if he used his own slicing style, but against a basher of average strength she was quite effective. Against Conan, she would be brushed aside like a leaf due to his power, if you have the strength bashing works fine.For Wong, he used his unobtrusive valet style. Wong often was able to sneak up on John and straighten his collar, or flick lint or dandruff from his shoulders and then fade back unobtrusively before John was even aware he was there. His approach was so subtle and obsequious that he just slipped in under the radar, so to speak. John had him practice coming up to brush away lint with a stick in his hand, and to try to touch.
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