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It was probably the kind that could be found anywhere near the ports of Liverpool. If Liverpool has ports. Come to think of it, I don't have a clue as to where in England Liverpool actually is, and I guess that's the point. One day the owner would wake up and convert it into a twenty-four hour taco bar. In this town, that would be a fucking gold mine.One thing was certain, the owner wasn't Bernie anymore. By now, Bernie was somebody's late grandfather. These days, the place was probably owned by some guy named Nguyen, and his collection of English cooks were all named Jose or Maria. Now there’s an irony that would make Lord Nelson blanch. (Please don't bother looking that up. You're reading a fucking story, for crissakes.)Anyway, it was nearing Christmas the first time I ate at Bernie's. Handfuls of cheap-ass tinsel clung to the windows and strings of ancient, multi-colored Christmas bulbs were strewn along the dark wood and low ceilings as if they had been tossed about by a. Thenhe heard the siren, he ran down to direct theparamedics up to the apartment. In Oakland, they alwayssend both an ambulance and a fire truck to anyparamedic call. The first vehicle to arrive was thefire truck. It was a huge America LaFrance pumper, redlights ablaze. The paramedics got out. “I was making love to mygirlfriend, and she was a virgin, and I guess when Itore her hymen, she started bleeding. Now she won’tstop and she is pale white. I think she is bleeding todeath. I should have known, her hymen was so thick andtough.” Mrs. Kimbell stood by the fire truck with hermouth open in astonishment. Mrs. Pearson ran over to Mrs. Kimbell and asked whatwas happening. “John was deflowering Rachel and she had a thick hymenand when he tore it and she started bleedinguncontrollably. She’s turned white, they think she waybe bleeding to death.” The ambulance pulled up and the paramedics came in thebuilding. Mrs. Thompson asked what happened. “John.
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