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Her work now entailed much more travel than ever before, with trips to the west coast or New York several times each month. More and more frequently I found myself alone in our penthouse in Cambridge, resentful of what at the time I thought was her obsessive career. When she was at home, she was always exhausted. She never refused me sex, but it was no better than necrophilia, and gradually I stopped bothering. I deeply regretted selling the house in Tiburon because I would have surely gone there. I doubt very much that separation would have shocked her into change, and divorce would have inevitably followed. I find myself wondering if that might have been best. But such thinking is futile. I did sell the house. I did stay in Cambridge. And we did stay together, if peculiarly. My life become one of memory and fantasy. Memories of days, nights, experiences, with Julie and Anne, and other women, some of whose names I could not even remember, some of whom I was surprised to realize I. "You are too much, too strong. But." He held up his hand palm outwards as I started to turn away. "If you will study, if you will learn, there is a thing we do later, at commencement. It is opera, Lucia di Lammermoor. Do you know it?" I shook my head no. "Never mind. We have wonderful soprano, it is for her we do this one. We have tenor, not so good but OK. We even have bass. We have others. But we need baritone, strong like you. Will you consider?"I was frankly flabbergasted. But he was serious, and he wasn't going to charge me extra—well, not much extra—for lessons, I was still bored, so I said why not, I'd try it. And for the next three months he put me through absolute hell. He changed the way I breathed, he showed me how to make my voice from my diaphragm instead of my throat, he pushed me through drill after aggravating drill, time and again I'd sing what I thought was beautiful and he'd just say "no," and make me do it again.So when Lucia went on there was I on stage as.
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