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He acted, he sang, he danced, he told jokes, and did pratfalls, after which the agent said.“You’ve got a lot of talent. Whats your name?”“Penis Van Lesbian, Sir.”“Excuse me? What did you say?”“Penis Van Lesbian”“You CAN’T have a name like THAT in show business.” The agent replied.“Penis Van Lesbian is a long respected name where I come from, and I will NOT change it!” As he stormed out the door in a huff.The agent soon forgot the would be actor and went on about his business. 20 years later, he recieved an envelope in the mail, containing $10,000 and a note...The note said,“Dear Sir,A long time ago you gave me some advice, and to my shame I walked out on you. I soon learned that you were right, and I changed my name and actually became fairly successful.I regret not taking your advice when offered. Since it worked well enough, I have enclosed what I believe would have been your commission.Sincerely,Wait for it...Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the. He said, "We can make a deal, Lora."The terms he offered were simple--spend the next twenty years of my life in prison or spend five years as a Doll on the Pleasure Grid. "With your pretty face and tight little body, you'll do very well." he said. He didn't stop smiling once during our conversation. "Some popular Dolls even stay on after their contracts end because they can start charging good money."I didn't think too hard. I took the pen he offered and wrote my name on the dotted line. The next day, he signed me out and drove me away from the gated compound that had been my home for a year.Now, I see what he drove me to is just another prison. It's prettier and much bigger but still a prison. My new home, a neat town, is encased in a glass dome. Like plants in a greenhouse, its buildings and inhabitants receive close inspection from caretakers. In this case, the caretakers are the corporate overseers of the Pleasure Grid.Still, when I walk into my assigned apartment, I'm relieved.
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