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He also hadn't seen any of her surliness or bitchy attitude from when he first arrived. Also missing was the deep anger or her quick irritation with him. It was now hard to miss that Amber was trying to impress, especially since his father pointed it out to him.A few times she looked to be sad, but just a moment of him sitting and talking with her and her alone always cheered her up. It was all she needed when those moments happened, and during them DJ also learned what made Amber tick. He actually found she was quite fascinating as he learned many things about her life and how she made due with what little she had compared to what he grew up with.In all, having such an attractive and stunningly well-built girl wanting him this badly wasn't such a bad thing he figured. It could be far worse, and it made his trying to come up with reasons to not get involved with her harder to come up with.Quite a few nights he dreamed of her getting naked, throwing him hard down on the ground,. That's one reason I'vepicked the wardrobe I have, so I dont get people staring at me.This isnt about making people feel sorry for me.Anyone who knows my story knows I've had a few bad things happen to me.But I know others with lives that make mine look like a walk through thepark. I've been pitied, while it can feel good to have someone empathizewith me, a person gets tired of being the object of pity pretty fast.I've thought more than once that I know people are judged by how theytreat "the least of these", but I would be just as happy if "the least ofthese" was somebody other than me. Frankly, I would like to be worth morethan just pity.This isnt about my rape, or "hating" being a guy.Look, my memory of those years is beyond hazy, but some things I canrecall, especially now that I've started working on recovering from myassault. And my best recollection indicates that I blamed my wanting to befemale for my rape. In fact my memory suggests that my rapist used thatdesire as a means.
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