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The first memory I have was reading some basic sex ed books when I was seven and deciding right then and there that the person I wanted to make love with was Steve. He was only eleven, but I knew. It was seven years later when we first made love.”“And you pursued him?”“Like a predator after her prey,” Stephanie said. “I was relentless. I knew what I wanted, and I was determined to get it. And I did. My only regret was that he had already been with other girls before me.”That was an interesting revelation, and spoke volumes. She had wanted me to be her first, and she to be my first, and to never, ever have anyone else. Finally, after all these years, I began understand the depth of damage this had done to my sister’s psyche. And not starting at age fourteen, but at age seven.“Steve, when did you become aware of what she wanted?”“When she was twelve, I think. Right around then, anyway.”“And what did you do?”“Nothing, really. At first I tried to ignore it. Then I tried to deny it. Then,. "Laura, who was wearing a white blouse and a black pencil dress, lookedpuzzled as if to ask why my sister did not refer to me as her twin sisterand my Mum mischievously said "I have only one daughter."But she didn't say whether Trudy or Julianne was her real daughter."One of your daughters here is really a boy?" Asked the Laura, pretendingto feign surprise, "And yet they both look so feminine I would think youhad twin daughters."I was sure from the way she winked at me that she knew it was me, butapart from the wink, Laura didn't let on whether she had worked out if Iwas a boy or if she thought my sister was.Mum liked me in black and I wound up being bought a substantial Ladiesgothic wardrobe over that and subsequent shopping trips.When we got home from that first shopping trip I guess Mum started to feela bit guilty about taking me out shopping dressed as a girl until sheheard me tease Trudy and say "I bet Laura thought you were a boy you lookso ugly and scruffy."Mum realised then.
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