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Do you have any ideas of how I can hold my head up, along with the rest of me, with these watermelons hanging off my chin?Watch your ass, you fucking prima dorka!Love and kisses,Miss Jiggley-Tits III Some saddos have such paltry little lives, and I think we can all agree that it was hardly worth the wonderful poetic build-up I gave it. But, seeing as I'm such an empathetic and kind-hearted person (empathy again, Janine, I'm a fucking fountain of fucking empathy is what I am) I'll do my best to bring a sprinkling of dubloons and dollars, glitter and sequins to her tawdry existence. Dear Jiggy,I know what you're trying to do. I know you're trying to make me envious of the magnificence of your mammary glands, to spiral into a tirade of self-condemnation, to bemoan my bee-stung breasts, to remember all the denigration and abuse I've received throughout my life, the comparisons to Flanders fields and prairie plains, the itty-bitty-tiny-titty catcalls, but it's not going to work. I'm not. Ramona was a cute little thing and looked at me not with surprise, but with utter contempt.?Jesus Winslow, what did you do to Miz Fennelly?? Ramona stepped up close and twisted the binder clip on my left nipple.?I’m just having a little fun? Winslow said, pushing his taped aviator glasses up on his pimple laden nose.Ramona circled me, swishing her little miniskirt and then came back up front. ?Hello Miz Fennelly??Hello, Ramona, you can call me Gwyneth if you—?But my sentence ended in a shriek as Ramona yanked one of the binder clips off my nipple. A tear ran down my cheek, it was so painful.?What a sissy you are. Crybaby. ? Ramona was a mean one.I tried not to let my lip tremble.?So what’s Miss Rich Bitch doing now? You want to write me up now?? Ramona yanked the other nipple clamp off my right breast and I burst into silent tears. Ramona slapped my jaw lightly. ?You know, I didn’t get a raise this year, my third in this shitty job. This means I still got to take food stamps, you rich.
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