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But can I ask you one last question?”Her: “Go ahead.”Me: “What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?”A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.His friends see him and ask “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”He replies “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle”His friend responds “A turtle? How are you supposed to be a turtle? And who is that woman on your back?”The man replies “Oh, that’s Michelle” –Thank Phoenix for the following. Three men were travelling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London, England. One man was from the US, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.The American began by saying: “I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do all the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, wonderful dinner. Mom aur woh kitchen mein khade the. Mom plate uthaa hi rahi thi ki Ratan ne mom se kaha, “Bhabhiji aap khaana bohut achha banati hi. Mann karta hai aap ka haath hi chum lu.”Mom sharma ke boli, “Aap bhi na bhaisaab bohut tarif karte hai.” Woh bola bhabhiji sach mein aap ke haatho mein jaadu hai. Mom boli, “Kavita ji ko pata chalega toh woh naraz hongi aapse.” Woh bola bhabhiji aap ki sundarta ke aage mujhe Kavita yaad hi nahi rehti.Mom hass ke boli, “Aap bhi na, Ratan ji.” Woh mom ke paas aaya aur mom ke kaan mein bola, “Aap ka swaad khaane jaisa hi hai kya?” Mom boli, “Kya matlab bhaisaab?”Woh mom ko apni taraf kheechta hai. Apne dono haath mom ki kamar pe rakh ke bolta hai, “Bhabhiji aapki sundarta ka toh main deewana ho gaya hu. Aap bas aaj mujhe aapko chakhne do.” Mom ghabra ke bolti hai, “Par Kavita ko pata chal gaya toh?”Woh bolta hai, “Use nahi pata chalega.” Ye bol kar woh mom ke hotho pe ek zordaar chumma deta hai. Dheere se apna haath mom ki salwar mein daal ke unki panty ke.
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