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I drove past the first two, one was huge and very busy, and the look of the other gave me the creeps. The third store was in a newer strip mall and was mot very busy. I parked and went inside.I was pleased to find that I was the only customer and surprised that the clerk was a woman about sixty years old. She let me browse among the lingerie, videos and books for a while before approaching me and asking if I needed help.Nervously I told her I was looking for a dildo. She led me toward the back to a section that was screened off a little from the rest of the store. There she showed me several types of vibrators and dildos in all sizes shapes and colors. I was amazed at the variety. Everything she pointed out was handheld.Finally I stammered, "I need the kind that straps on." Oh, how fun. Is it for you to wear or for a girlfriend?" She asked, glancing at my wedding ring."For me." I answered.She showed me several different kinds, flimsy ones with plastic straps, ones with leather straps. I had returned to my hometown for a convention in my chosen field, one in which I had become quite successful. I was ambivalent about going home. So much had changed over the 15 years since that awful night, when I came close to committing a murder-suicide.The city had grown remarkably, but in its wake it had left me and mine behind. Both Mom and Dad were gone. Dad had contracted lung cancer and had died eight years ago, and Mom had basically died of a broken heart just six months later.My sister had never made the place her home, and my brother had moved on after getting a lucrative job offer halfway across the country. So, after Mom died, I had no reason to go back, and I hadn't. Too many bad memories.Following the next to last day of the four-day affair, I was tired of being cooped up in a hotel room and decided to venture down to the hotel bar for a couple of beers. I have to be very careful about my drinking, because there was a time when it nearly killed me. But I can handle a.
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