As I got older I got more creative in my fantasy world. I wanted it all. I wanted to feel what sex was like as a woman. I wondered what it would be like to have breasts, to have them fondled, to feel oral sex, and to perform it myself. When I discovered internet porn during college my fantasy playground exploded into a vast universe of possibilities. I began shaving off my body hair like the actors in the porn movies. When my sexual feelings were strong I would wear lingerie under my clothes, wear it when I pleasured myself in my dorm room. I would stay on campus over the weekends when the college emptied out so I could play dress up for days at a time without having to worry about interruptions. I felt guilty. I wanted to please my parents. I guess it’s just a biological side effect some of us inherit from childhood. I was so hung up on making them proud. It’s why I went to such great lengths to keep this part of my life hidden. I was afraid they would think I was gay, and the God. I shot her modeling the swimsuits in front of a gray screen, using a variety of lighting angles. These were swimsuits designed for teens, so they didn't reveal a lot, even the two-piece suits. The company had sent over a guy with twenty suits in Cindy's size, and she changed right in front of us, not bothering to use the changing screen, to the amusement of the company rep, who was definitely not gay in his reaction to her nudity. We finished the whole shoot in about four hours, which was record time. Then we went to the Woolworth's for lunch, which I treated her to."Do you have to go back home right away?" I asked."No, I told my mom that the shoot would last all day, maybe even into the evening. She wasn't happy about it, but once we got the check for the last session, she decided that you were really legitimate, or at least a very rich pervert. So we're good." I'd like to go back to the studio with you and shoot more of those 'art shots' with you. I've got a new camera, and I want.
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