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My first thought was that I would not have the chance to respond, mainly because you left no contact details. Later, though, I read it after a guy I was seeing said something awful about kids from Eltham High, and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I have ever read. I’ve been surrounded by emboldened people for ten years: emboldened by money, by status, by privilege. Your note reminds me that there are beautiful minds everywhere, even when we are told to ignore them, and I thank you for that, Anton.”The simple act of her saying my name set something off inside me. “No, thank you for saying so, Alison.” I broke down and wept. “The thing was when I wrote that I had real feelings for you. A beautiful mind in a beautiful body. I wanted to be with you not just because I was attracted to you but because your presence made me want to be smarter. Made me want to be better. But I didn’t want to be creepy or anything, I wanted to be your friend first. I didn’t want to make the first. After all that happened between us back then I had hoped I’d never see her again and I assumed the feeling was mutual. I did my very best to ignore her throughout the class but as she was an absolute beginner she demanded a certain amount of attention from me. At no point did she reveal the fact that we knew each other, she simply followed instructions with the rest of them and struggled through the routine.I grit my teeth as I watch her out of the corner of my eye gather her belongings and hover against the far wall clearly waiting to speak with me.What in the hell did she want? I take in a calming breath and center myself. Actually her sticking around was for the best. Once the other students had left I could speak with her alone and politely ask her never to show her face here again.Had things not ended the way they did between us I might have been begging for her forgiveness. I was not proud of it but all through school I was the worst kind of bully and the chunky and awkward.
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