I hadn’t played in years.One of the kids bounced down a real wobbly that went wide, but it somehow ends up in my hands. “Geez mister you sure move fast,” the kid said.I grinned at him and returned the ball for his next go. The batter managed to collect this one, but it went up and back. I back peddled to get under it and then jumped to catch it. These kids were giving more of a workout than the hike in.I went to return the ball to find a dozen kids just staring at me. “What’s up?” I asked.“Mister, I ain’t never seen anyone jump that high,” the bowler said.“How high did I go?” I asked, tossing him the ball.“I could see sky between your feet and Jimmy’s head,” he said. I looked back the kid with the bat. He was probably about 1.5m tall.I shrugged. “I useta do high jumping,” I explained. The kids all looked at me sceptically. We played for about another ten minutes and then the kids decided it was time for a swim.I agreed. I’d worn my budgie smugglers under my jeans, just in case. I. Against this, my only defence was a raw nihilistic need for sexual degradation. Not much of a contest. In a life stripped of love, and almost entirely of relationships, the balance of my mind was now teetering on the very edge of complete self-destruction. It got so bad, the call I'd made a call before Margaret, this one to auntie Susan, dialling her number for the first time in three years, hoping against hope that Sarah would pick up the phone first. I wasn't surprised when Susan answered with a withering blast of bile and slammed the phone down. The only thing she told me that wasn't obscene confirmed that Sarah had left home. So why wasn't she trying to find me? Or I her? I couldn't face that one at all. Perhaps I'd ask Margaret where Sarah was, if I dared, but I knew I wouldn't.Once I had booked my visit, I phoned the University Arms, reserved my usual room, took a handful of Mogadon, and put myself to sleep for as long as possible.Driving up the A10 the next morning, through.
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