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“Help me clear this shelving unit off.”Joe and I moved a bunch of the standard things one finds on a garage shelf. Paint. Lubricants, couple of boxes of odds and ends.“Let’s pull this out of the way.”We moved the shelf. I picked up a powered screwdriver and started pulling screws that were holding a plywood panel. Finishing, I got a pry bar.“This’ll swing,” I said, and I pried the edge of the panel I’d just unfastened.“You really ARE nuts, brud,” Elise said. “What’s all THIS?”“Coupla cheapo AR-15s. Few magazines. Couple of thousand rounds of ammo... 22 rifle. More ammo. Old shotgun. More ammo.”“And this is stuff you just stuck in the wall and ignored?”“He’s got the same toys back in Alabama,” Tina said.“Yessir, Uncle Joe. I’ve shot ‘em,” Terri said brightly. “It’s fun. I’m actually pretty good, too.”“Any other surprises?” Elise asked.“Well, there’s the emergency food supply in the pantry...”“THAT I sort of understand, although – how much?”“Family of eight for six months,” I said.. “They’re old friends. From college.”Mom’s face froze. “Uh, were they...”“LOL, no, just friends.” Lavi actually said ‘lol.’ She clearly spent too much time texting. “He was her editor.”Finally, an orderly, or whatever they call them, showed up with a wheelchair. I transferred myself into it as quickly as I could. Lavi set the fruit basket that Laurence Montgomery had sent me (along with a very nice note) into my lap. I’d gotten a lot of well wishes but that one had surprised me. My boss Tony took it as a good sign and had insisted I only do half days until I felt better. I had tons of sick time built up so it wasn’t a problem.Mom, “All right. I swear your father was just as bad. You’d butt heads with a stop sign.”“You know,” Melissa said, “I was reading that satyrs were originally represented as having horse legs rather than goat ones. Horse legs, mule legs, kinda the same, he could just be a satyr, half mule.”My mother was chipper at this description. “Huh, that makes sense to me..
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