"That's none of your bus..." I stumbled over my own tongue and finished with a weak, "Oh." Precisely," she told me. She smiled faintly and continued, "I realize it is a shock to learn your parents are human too."I tried another tack, "But Mom, he's a wrinkly old man. Jesus!" I could not get the vision of his gray haired old gut draped over Mom's forehead."Let me tell you a secret not even your father knows. Carl was the man who took my virginity when I was a teenager reporting for work as an intern. Carl had initiated a training program to help young people who were not able to get a college education to learn a trade."My grades at school were terrible. I was failing and did not care. You know what my parents are like. You met them once when you were ten and never wanted to go back. Who wants to associate with drunks?" What does my grandparents have to do with anything?" Patience, Grasshopper." She cocked an eyebrow at me. "I hated my family and our junky apartment. I was wild and. Now, if you can quit laughing at your poor old man can we continue with your question?" Sorry Dad. But God. That is just so dorky. A bunch of guys sitting in a circle jerking each other off."Maintaining my composure with some difficulty I went on. "I only told you that so you would see that it is normal to experiment. That's all. If you like boys you aren't a lesbian."Brooke nodded her head. "Thanks Dad. I was just feeling like totally confused." One more thing. Do we need to talk about prophylactics?" God," she said rolling her eyes as only a teenager can do. "Like do you think I don't know anything? We learned all about that in Sex-ed. I totally know about that."'Totally, ' I said to myself. She totally knows everything. "Good. I'd rather have you ask me to buy them for you than wind up dead." Again the eye roll. "Brooke. I am totally serious about that." I know. I'm not going to do anything like that Dad. Really." But you do like boys? So maybe they'll want to do something like.
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