I reached out and patted my brother on the cheek and said, “Okay, little brother. If your little pea brain has any blood left in it let’s put it to work.”I’m pretty proud of myself. I sound like I’m a lot more in control than I actually am. I’m as excited as Tyler obviously is, if not more. I’m as nervous as I can ever remember being. But I sound calm.He grinned and said, “I’m going to need larger pants if we keep doing this. These things are tighter than hell with a hard-on.”I smiled and responded, “Take them off. If I’m going to be naked it only seems fair that you are too.”I was totally serious. I’m just as curious about his body as he is about mine.“That would be unprofessional.”I’m not sure if he’s just self-conscious or if he actually meant it.He went to his camera and motioned me onto the bed. I got into the first pose he showed me in his book and he took a couple of pictures before he moved the camera and got a few shots from a different angle.He quickly discovered the tripod. As he speaks, his gaze wanders between his presentation on the screen, to individuals sitting in the auditorium, keeping them engaged. I’m almost desperate for his eyes to catch mine. Then, for just a second, they do, and it almost seems like his eyes can see right into me. Both eyebrows slightly lift, almost as if asking me an unspoken question. Before I know it, his lecture is over, and he is swarmed by my colleagues, who have to ask him one more question or make one more point… but I know there are women in the class who are like me, and just wish for a few minutes more in his presence. A hot, swooping sensation is in my stomach. I can’t stay another minute when we’re finally dismissed for the day. In agitation, I drive back to my hotel. I change into clothes that feel uncomfortably tight, and go for a drink in the hotel bar. I have a book with me, but I can’t get past the first page. Colleagues arrive for supper and a drink, but I can’t eat. I finish my drink, make my excuses,.
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