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And her fantasies of an affair would have to remain just that – fantasies.As soon as we saw her car though, we realized it would not be safe for her to drive back to the city on the tiny spare tire. The kiss we shared against her car was more of a promise to keep her safe as I followed her onto the highway and back into the city. She swore though, as soon as we reached her house, we would have to say good-bye, this would have to be our final kiss…if the neighbors saw. She just shook her head unable to finish the thought. I didn’t know how long the drive would be, but I certainly hoped my renewed hard-on would have the time to subside before we reached her house. I couldn’t make any promises until then.The drive was not long enough. She pulled into a driveway and waited as the garage door slowly rose. I backed up and parked my car against the curb and walked up her driveway as she was pulling in. When she saw me, she looked around nervously before telling me we couldn’t,. ..I get up and pace the roomin anger that someone would toss away life like this! I start again inexplanation to her..."If you where dying of some disease, I couldn'thelp you with and your going to die anyway...in a day or two, Iunderstand that. This way? No! you have got another 40-50 years of lifein front of you! NO I couldn't do that to you."She looks kind of sad now, I can just feel the wave of it wash over meform her and just under each wave is disappointment added to it all.I whisper to her as softly and kindly as I can muster out, "Just Believeme...you got life in you. When you think you're going pass from thisworld and you still think that way? You seek me out and we will make adecision then. Until then just live your life, learn and spread yourknowledge. You can make other people's lives better, that's what Ibelieve!"Becky looks at me more than emotional. Sadness is eating her up. I canfeel every drip of it across the room and it eats at my very soul tofeel it. "I want to be.
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