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Yet I sit here on my bed unloved, unwanted anddesperately lonely. I know I've kept my incessant yearnings under controland never submitted to them. So how could anyone know? Am I that obvious?Can people see inside me and observe the abomination within? On theoutside I try to be like any other "normal" boy, although I'm not reallysure what the expectations of being a "normal" boy are. Rough and tumblegames I've attempted but they're not for me. The crudeness of boy's talkI've tried but it's not in me. Why do I always feel I am on the outsidelooking in? Maybe I'm an alien on a strange planet who has forgottenwhere they came from and stuck in some foreign environment? Why are thereso many questions and so few answers? My last forlorn hope is to believethere is a God and pray to him for some sort of happiness. As has been myritual for so many lonely nights I kneel down by my bed, clasp my handsand pray to God.'Dear lord I know I am not perfect and maybe I killed mummy when I cameout of. We were fighting men, who most often showed their weapons, fired a few rounds into the air, and people just gave up. We obviously had all the resources we needed, and the right men for the job. They were well motivated and proven killers." I said it, then I spit on the floor and rolled the wheel chair toward the door."We didn't dismiss you," the one in the Navy uniform said."I lived up to my end of the deal. I told you what happened in detail, and I answered your question. We had a man killed, you can think what you want, but he was no amateur. Now I am going back to bed my leg is killing me." We will be in touch," the Navy man said."You can be a fairy princess or anything else you want. there is nothing more to learn from me," I said."Actually there is," cheap suit said. "You juggled two equally difficult stories, while you got your group ready to fight the pirates. I'm sure there is something we could learn there." The real death blow to them had nothing to do with me. Alex and.
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