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.. and boredom usually meant masturbation. She considered her collection of toys, smiling at the achievement of sexual freedom after so many years of shyness, blushing and running from her sexual needs.Although she had always been shy and quiet, she wasn't always the good girl people expected. Her straight, mouse-brown hair, coke-bottle glasses (now much thinner, thanks to polycarbonate lenses!), and modest clothing gave the impression of a polite, utterly restrained young woman and her demeanor around strangers and co-workers certainly told the same tale. She was smart, and imaginative, and utterly straight-laced. Or so they thought ... if only they knew.When Susanna was younger she liked to play out little scenes in her imagination. Mostly they were the kinds of things every girl imagines: tossing her head in the wind as her gorgeous palomino mare rocked across an open grassland; the mysterious dark-haired man who would catch up to her on his wild bay stallion and ride laughing. Barely three houses long, and maybe two wide, it hardly seemed worth acknowledging. I couldn’t help it, though. It was just more proof that I had moved to a desolate, ignorant town. Don’t ask me how I considered it proof of ignorance, because it just seemed like the two went together, and I couldn’t tell you why. Every time I passed the pond, I became more and more depressed. I guess the pond was a part of my life, but it seems kind of sad that I placed so much importance on it. I knew I had to get away. I just didn’t know how, or when, or even why. I wasn’t completely sure what I was going to do once I did leave. I just knew. And somehow I knew that the pond had the answer. Late at night I would sneak out, but not to get drunk with some friends, not even to meet some illegitimate boyfriend. It was to go sit in the middle of the lake. I didn’t start out like that, of course. At first, I would just stand and stare, thinking about all my unanswered questions, then returning to my bed.
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